"Mr. Perkins had just returned from a drunken golf weekend with colleagues in June last year when he sat down in front of his laptop at his home east of London and started to place bets on Brent crude futures, according to a report by the Financial Services Authority published Tuesday. He continued to drink and place bets through the night and by the morning of June 30, Mr. Perkins had placed more than $520 million worth of trades, at one point pushing the price of oil to $73.05, an eight-month high. Mr. Perkins’ trades were the main reason the price gained about $1.65 a barrel in just over two hours in the middle of the night, according to the report."
“Waking up and plugging myself into the internet, I receive a receipt from an eBay seller instructing me to “GET PAST THE DISBELIEF AND GET ANGRY,” warning of a new U.N. law supposedly to be enacted January 1, 2010 to up the carcinogenic ratio in foods to engender population control.
Now, it wasn’t as if I was bidding on a vial of Dan Brown’s blood. Firstly, it’s terrible business sense to scare away happy customers with nutritional prophecy. Secondly, if someone does have enough power to legislate changes to the nutritional make-up of foods to make them slightly more killer than usual, I’d rather not know about it. The fact that I’m hearing this from a hammock salesman is baffling.”
"As for short emails: at this point in time, due to my arduous writing schedule, emailing is like throwing a bouquet from a bullet train. Listen, pal, consider yourself lucky to get a few straggly petals."
Obama, who sources said has been more introspective and isolated in recent months, made his first foray into the avant-garde last March, when he posted avideo titled “Red, White, and Doom” to the White House website. In it, the president, seated in the Oval Office with a skull-and-crossbones banner where the American flag would normally be, stares unblinkingly into the camera as the phrase “in God we trust” loops for four minutes and 33 seconds.
While it was initially dismissed by the public as a technical error, White House communications director Dan Pfeiffer was quick to clarify that the video in fact reflected Obama’s changing vision for the country.
“The president still wants to continue his dialogue with the American people,” Pfeiffer said. “However, he’s been getting really into Nam June Paik lately, and is passionate about using new technologies and techniques to communicate his message of hope and progress.”
"By midnight at Kitty O’Shea’s, much of Team America is completely shitfaced. Two officers do an Irish jig mixed with steps from a traditional Afghan wedding dance, while McChrystal’s top advisers lock arms and sing a slurred song of their own invention. “Afghanistan!” they bellow. “Afghanistan!” They call it their Afghanistan song."
On Thursday, they said Gardner was spending time sleeping, reading the novel “Divine Justice,” watching the “Lord of the Rings” film trilogy and meeting with his attorneys and a bishop from the Mormon Church. Officers described his mood as relaxed.
Although officials had said he planned to fast after having his last requested meal Tuesday, Gardner drank a Coke and a Mountain Dew on Thursday night. His Tuesday meal consisted of steak, lobster tail, apple pie, vanilla ice cream and 7UP.
"Still, the great thing about New Yorkers is their can-do attitude, and the rugged independence with which they move to solve their own problems. Sure, there may not be as many cops on the beat, but if you use a little common sense you can protect yourself from criminals. In that spirit, I would like to offer you an important safety tip that just might save your life. Here’s how to kill a man with a MetroCard"
— “How to Stay Safe in New York City by Michael Bloomberg,” The Awl, April 1, 2010
SOME PEOPLE MIGHT SAY that buying a house you’ve never actually seen close-up is a bad idea, but what does anybody know about our needs, anyhow? For us it was perfect. The peeling paint. The old cellar. The garden in the back. The porch out front. The still air of the living room. The attic….
"I am not aware of any other case in which suicide was accomplished in this way, at least not with a gag in his mouth covered by a surgical mask. Occasionally someone ties his feet and wrists and then tightens a noose around his neck—but this is more common in accidental deaths during autoerotic activity than when someone intends to commit suicide."
The Honorable Harry M. Reid
Majority Leader
United States Senate
Washington, D.C. 20510
Dear Harry:
I hope you know that during my Town Hall today, I wasn’t saying anything negative about Las Vegas. I was making the simple point that families use vacation dollars, not college tuition money, to have fun. There is no place better to have fun than Vegas, one of our country’s great destinations. I have always enjoyed my visits, look forward to visiting in a few weeks, and hope folks will visit in record numbers this year.
Sincerely,
Barack Obama
"
— “Obama sends letter to Reid, saying, ‘There is no place better to have fun than Vegas’,” RGJ.com, February 2, 2010
"And in another vignette, confirmed by several sources, a senior U.S. official involved in the economy hosted his Chinese counterpart, who then made a series of disparaging remarks about the bureau that the American ran. Later that night, the two were to dine at the American’s house. The Chinese representatives called ahead, asking what was for dinner. They were informed that it was fish. “The director doesn’t eat fish,” one of them told his American interlocutor. “He wants steak. He says fish makes you weak.” The menu was changed"
In the year 2010 you do not sleep on a bed. There are no beds, no tables, no chairs. The floor is made for sitting, sleeping, and walking on. It is soft where you sit or sleep, hard where you need a table or desk.
Your home is very carefully planned.
"
— “2010: Living in the Future,” Geoffrey Hoyle. 1972
"I actually liked John quite a lot, but — and I mean this in the most complimentary possible way, if he happens to be reading this — I can certainly see wanting to kill him."
